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Thursday, June 09, 2011

Answers

On Tuesday I was supposed to see my OBGYN to get the reults of my Ultrasound and have a biopsy done.  I show up at the office, and they tell she had to do surgery that day and was not coming back to the office.  The attendant told me she tried calling me, but I had no messages.  This kind of ticked me off because no one called my cell or work number after I just filled out a dozen pages of contact info on my last visit there, updating everything... but that doesn't matter, really.

When she told me the doc was out, I couldn't control it, and busted into tears.  I felt like such a wuss.  She rescheduled my appointment for the end of June (so now I had to wait another 3 weeks for an answer) and I walked out... then the flood gates opened.  Another 3 weeks of not knowing what the heck is wrong with me?  Another 3 weeks of feeling like everything is on hold.  Ugh!

It's the unknown I can't stand.  I can't prepare for it.  I don't have the chance to be ready for whatever is being dished out.  It's completely out of this self-proclaimed control freak's control, and it's pretty much the worst way for me to feel in my world. 

But... the attendant called me yesterday morning.  She was so sweet.  She said, "I kept thinking about you last night and I felt so bad... I should have checked your information better."  "I know it's last minute, but can you come in for 11:15?"

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (my reply)  I was so relieved.

So I went and found out I have 2 little fibroids (only 2mm in size) that are causing all this stinkin' trouble!  Just 2 little buggers the size of a bad zit.  I mean really, look at a ruler... 2mm is freakin' small!  I just can't comprehend that something that size can mess me up this way!  It's both unbelievable and fascinating in a weird way.

The good news is I can be fixed.  It will require an ablation (Nova Sure), which will take care of the extreme blood loss, which will in turn take care of the Anemia! Hopefully no more IV Iron Infusions!  Basically the ablation burns the lining of the uterus away. I know, sounds rough.  Doc said she'd try to "zap" the fibroids if she can get to them, but they're near the Fundus and she might not be able to get to them.  She also said she'd "clean-up whatever else I find."  Which kind of tickled me because I immediately pictured her pulling a kitchen sink out of my uterus.  LOL 

The bad news is that means no more babies AND Hubs will be "snipped" too, so there's no chance of getting pregnant.  Getting pregnant after an ablation can result in serious complications.

Muy mal.  :(

I don't take the no more babies thing lightly either.  It's just that I've been processing the possibility for the last year, knowing it might come to this.  It's still disappointing to have the decision made FOR me; like someone too my choice away. I hurt for my Husband too, because I know as an only child, he really would have liked (as would I) to have had a sibling for Cassie.

It would  have been nice, but Cassie is healthy, beautiful, smart and thriving.  Really, we couldn't be blessed more than we are with her.  Some people don't ever get the chance to have their own, or parent any children at all.

Unfortunately, Cassie is at the age where kids ask all the time for brothers or sisters.  I just tell her, "Mommy is broken and my tummy can't carry a baby."  She accepts that answer for now.  Thankfully.  I'm sure the deeper questions are forthcoming.

So to end on a happy note...

The surgery is not long and it's supposedly just a 1 day recovery, which means everything is "go" for Redman 70.3.  Whew!!  Priorities, I know, right?  Even if it turns out I need more recovery time, Coach says we'll manage the schedule to accommodate whatever I need.

That's all for now.

1 comments:

Christy said...

That is good/bad news! I pray you find peace with it all!!!

Whoohoo Redman! (I know priorities right? LOL!)

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