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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rough Times and Good Times

I'm a firm believer that the rough times pass.  I also fully believe without the rough times the good times aren't nearly as sweet.  The last week-and-half have felt like a year.  The ups and downs of losing a beloved friend are bad enough, but to watch her loved ones survive her with such pain is just as hurtful. 

For the last couple days I've been consciously making the effort to stop trying reconcile Elysha's death -- because frankly there is no good reason.  Period. 

Instead, I've been focusing on letting go of the pain.  I think that's the hard part for everyone.  It's almost like letting go of the pain is letting go of her, or our love for her. I wear the pain of her loss of her on my sleeve, and that's not what she would have wanted. I've been giving myself permission, quite literally, over and over again to let go of the pain and be okay with it.  I'm choosing to remember how much I loved my beloved friend and how she loved others. 

As for the service it was perfect.  The pastor spoke well, as did members of her family and one of her childhood friends.  I've never seen so many people at a service before.  Just another testament to how many lives she touched.  Incidentally, E's birthday is this Friday.  Love you, girl!

*deep breath*  Life, however, goes on... and we have to keep moving forward, a hard reality.

In other non-related news, I've been back to the doc and he upped my hyperprolactinemia (Dostinex) meds.  I'm still not on the full dose, but hopefully soon I'll get there.  I haven't really felt much different.  Weight is holding steady, as usual.

Tri training just hasn't been happening.  I swam once last week -- that was it!  A whole week of red boxes on my training calendar; yuck!  I bricked yesterday but lack of regular sleep and full nutrition doesn't help -- especially in the heat.  I was light-headed and dizzy; just did what I could.  At least this week I'm doing the best I can getting some in. 

Cass' graduation was on Tuesday night at U of H  Clear Lake (it's true!).  Also the same day the transmission died and I had to buy a new car! 



The transmission on my "Libby" (my Jeep) died.  Finally.  Libby decided to crap out while my husband was on a well-deserved fishing trip.  I had to ruin his morning with a message from the auto repair place.  We knew it was coming, we just didn't know when.  I had been shopping around and sort of knew what I wanted and what was out there.

As luck would have it, I scored a pretty slick deal on a previously loved vehicle.  I got an '08 Infiniti FX35 with a boat-load of options I would have never been able to afford brand new with all the options!  Well, I suppose we could of, but then I would have been car-poor.  I feel good that I made a responsible choice and went used -- let someone else eat that depreciation!  So the deal I found was on a car with just 16000 miles.  Sixteen thousand!  It was driven to work with a whopping 6 mile commute and garage kept.  It still smells new!  I test drove it and fell in love with it!

With Hubs away though, making that purchase was a little unnerving.  I had his best friend, who is as frugal as they come, a gear-head like my Hubs, and not easily enamoured by sparkle and new-car-scent, to check it over for me and drive it.  He came back smiling and said it was "an awesome deal".  I was soooo excited.  Yesterday it was official; paperwork done!  Hubs is glad I was able to do something -- just hope he's as pleased with it as I am!

Here she is!


That's about it -- have a great holiday weekend!

3 comments:

Laurie (GastricGirl.com) said...

Wow, a graduation! She's precious!

Love the new car.. it's gorgeous!!

Letting go of the pain is definitely the hardest part of grief... big hugs to you!!

sharla said...

Your daughter is so cute!
Congrats on her graduation.

Very pretty car! Does it have a hitch already for a bike rack? Does she have a name yet?
1600 miles, to me, is still new!
We were able to get a similar deal on a subaru wagon earlier this year. It's a 99, but same thing-garaged, barely any miles and options galore (really like the heated seats pre swim!)

Hoping your pain lessens! Glad you posted something!

silken said...

congrats on the great new car!

I wanted to drop you a note and hope it's not too painful….I met someone today at the combat triathlon whose wife was racing for a friend who had recently passed, and that friend happened to be Elysha! The lady who was racing is named Karen and she had met Elysha last year at the combat tri, according to her husband. Karen dedicated today's race to Elysha. I thought of you when I heard the story and just wanted to share it w/ you. Hope you are getting through….thoughts and prayers go with you and all those who are missing your dear friend.

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