Well, peoople at work are starting to notice -- and I'm starting to notice my loss too. Its amazing just how much better I feel, losing what I have. I haven't used my CPAP since I've been home. My Husband says that I'm sleeping so quietly that he can't even hear me sometimes!
As for the eating, 26 days left of full liquids. It's really not as hard, as it is boring. I know my surgeon does this for 6 weeks to make the emotional disconnect from food -- and that's one of the things I know I needed, and one of the many reasons I chose this surgery.
In spite of a particularly stressful week back to work, I found I wasn't even thinking about eating in response to feel better. It just didn't even come to mind. I haven't had an official *mourning* for the loss of food yet, but I'm not really focusing on what I might missing out on, so much as I am focusing on the end result.
I really to try to visualize me at a healthy weight, and it's so hard to do. I can almost see it in my mind, but not quite -- how strange is that?
I had a meeting with our Managing Consultant yesterday, and it was good. In general, I am a fairly confident person, but when I get to meeting with some of the top brass in our firm, I seem to lose the ability to articulate. Anyway, he is new to our office and I haven't had much interaction with him, so I was unsure how things would go. I was pleased we were able to connect and have a productive discussion.
One of the things I wanted to start focusing on after the surgery was behind me, was the idea of a career change. I am really interested in two totally different fields: communications and physical therapy. Both would mean returning to school.
I'm not so much worried about the long road of hard work for me, and I know my Husband will totally support me in this effort (he is amazing!). Knowing they will have to sacrifice sme, I don't want my family to sacrifice too much. I've been burned-out for a very long time and am pretty much just existing at work for my paycheck. My work is no longer exciting. I am stagnated in my position and really have no where to go unless my boss leaves.
Who knows, I might find that things change for me in the next year as I shed the weight. Despite that though, I don't want to sit around and let time pass without making any effort towards change.
1 day ago